March 11, 2019

Stop Taking It So Personally

|Thread & Supply Jacket|Aerie Leggings (with pockets!)|

"'Cause when you feel attacked that's a feeling, not a fact"

If you've been around for a while then you know I'm a musical theatre junkie. That particular quote above is a line from Mean Girls on Broadway. I can remember hearing the song for the first time and thinking wow now that's a game changer! It goes hand in hand with my new mindset I've been working on all of 2019...

You can't take others reactions to you personally, they are not facts. It's someone latching on to something in the moment, instead of actually facing what the actual problem is.

Gosh! That is so much easier said than done, right? I feel like it's an on going battle with me, you feel confident, that no one can tear you down- Brooke (that girl) knows what she's doing! Then a customer starts making comments about the way you FOAM A LATTE and you feel inferior, confused, and crushed. I just let someones opinion of foam, make me think I was less than. The worst part is we can sit here reading that statements and in unison all agree that I was insane for letting that simple action have that kind of affect on me. But if we reach deep down, we know that we've all let similar situations make us feel inferior.

We go around acting like that stops in high school, but some of us will always be drama queens deep down. We let people's opinions run the show and dictate who we are. And y'all, that has got to STOP. No wonder we're all driving each other mad!

I had an epiphany around Christmas time, I was dealing with a situation that escalated and ended up with someone video taping me. You know those viral videos where someone makes a worker seem like a complete and total A. All I was doing was sticking to my job and the set rules laid out for me. I wasn't rude, I didn't want to make anyone feel less than, and I certainly wouldn't want to negatively impact someones day. They flipped the script, and wanted to make me out as a monster. They left, and I sobbed uncontrollably. I couldn't stop shaking, and I was honestly confused. I tried to act brave, but for a solid month I worried I would have to deal with nasty comments on the internet that I just wasn't ready for.

It was in that moment that I realized, I was taking this way too personally, and I'm sorry but so were they. If you are told that light ice does not equal more product... that is not a personal attack. If someone is videoing you for absolutely no reason just to fit their narrative... that is not a personal attack. When someone calls you an idiot for carding them... that is not a person attack. When someone questions rather you have college education under your belt because you don't know their specific cigarette subcategory... believe it or not, that is not a personal attack.

I'm not saying that we should go around and emotionally vomit all our frustrations onto each other. I do not excuse or dismiss their behaviors one bit, but I can't get hung up on them and take them personally. Someone's reactions to something, often times says a lot more about them than it does about your abilities. (In an act of complete transparency, it says a lot about me when I let someone's opinion of foam dictate how I want to treat someone.)

We have got to stop letting others negativity belittle or define us. It has got to stop! Even if you aren't a believer like me, and don't think that our identity can only be determined and found through Jesus...
then you have to know that your ability and identity is NOT determined by other thoughts and it's not even our own thoughts and measure of our own self-worth! We have got to stop being such easily offended creators and start taking things with a grain of SALT.

I know it's not easy. I know sometimes you want to cry yourself to sleep secretly. I know that in the moment it feels like an attack and a fact. I know when your mind gets to settle, it keeps you up at night occasionally. I know, it's easier said than done.

BUT, I also...

know that you aren't alone. I know that my door is always open. I know that every single person feels like someones opinion is a fact. I know that we will wrestle with these truths daily, 'til we die.

And I say, bring it on. I'm ready to be better, stronger, and more resilient than who I was.

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