*First letter can be found here*
Dear Best Friend,
They say time heals all wounds, for some wounds I feel as though time reopens them. Then decides to stab you in the heart a little deeper each time. They also say that breakups between best friends hurt more than romantic relationships, and I think a big portion of that is due to time.
In our life we experience a ton of "firsts." Your first words, first tooth, first love, first heartache, first kiss, the list can go on and on. With boyfriends or girlfriends, your firsts get renewed. Your very first kiss with that boy you had a crush on all summer gets replaced when the right guy kisses you for the first time... and it feels like home. The problem is, when you finally meet that right guy.... your heart yearns for the friend you always thought would be jumping up and down beside you. You are that friend for me. The "firsts" and all the life changing moments to come, well I'm naturally going to want to call you and tell you all about it and that... that is when time open the wound it also so generously healed.
Lately little things have been popping up that make me think of you. The little kids I nanny asked me who was going to be in my wedding randomly a couple weeks ago, your named wasn't included. I met a boy who's different, I don't really know if it means anything. Yet this memory of you always telling how you couldn't wait to see the guy I end up with ((not to mention that he'd 100% have to be cuddly because I show my love through physical touch)) and the realization is syncing in that when I find him you won't know him or what he's like. You won't know if he is super cuddly or not, you will know nothing but his name thanks to Facebook.. if that. Chances are you won't be there when I walk down the isle, and you'll never personally know my children if I'm lucky enough to have them one day.
I used to spend a lot of time being angry, but I'm not. There's nothing to be angry over, again time happens (time seems to be a real bitch) and the next thing you know... you drift apart. Would I have liked you to fight for me? Probably. But did I fight for you? We're both to blame for that, but I'm not sad either- this is no time for a pity party. I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for the memories I do have and the role you played in making me the person I am today. I'm thankful that you pushed me to realize I actually do have a singing voice and that belting "Pulled" from The Addams Family Musical is always a good idea. Maybe the ending to our friendship isn't what we always envisioned, maybe it's not you hiding in my basement and me sneaking down to you every morning so my husband never saw me "ugly." Maybe it's not you being like an aunt to my children. Maybe it's not you doing my makeup for the wedding I've always dreamed about that you so generously always heard me day dream about over and over. What the ending is though is you giving me one more life lesson. Thank you for teaching me what it means to truly love, to fight for the friendships that mean the most in my life. Thanks for teaching me what it means to be a friend and to be there 100% for those around you. From the bottom of my heart thank you, you helped me make me the person I am today and even will still continue help me become the person I'm supposed to be even if you aren't in my life anymore.
I hope you think about me sometimes and that memories like these rush to your head and make you smile. I hope you're not angry, I hope you're not sad... I hope you too are thankful for the time that we had.
Your Best Friend