October 16, 2014

Turn The Page? Close The Book?

I have had a lot of time reflecting on what my life has been so far… what my 21 years on earth has achieved. Has it made the world a better place? Have I at least positively affected those I come in contact with? Have I learned anything? Do I have regrets, or more importantly should regrets even be in a persons vocabulary. 

I recently adopted the life motto of "no regrets" not because it's the in thing to do, not because it seemed right, but because what did regrets ever do for me or my life? Regrets shouldn't be in a persons vocabulary, there is no reason to regret anything I have done or will do in the future. At my college for your major there was a huge test in which you only got three tries, if they didn't pass you by the third attempt you had to pick a new major. During my last try the last question I was asked was, "This is your last attempt. You have failed twice so far and yet you still come in being as happy as can be, why?" I can't exactly remember how I answered that in the moment and looking back on that question I sort of want to cry. 

The thing is, life knocks you down. Exactly a year ago I was reading play after play wrapping my head around ideas and seeing if certain characters fit my "mold." I had what seemed like the whole world ahead of me, my joy and determination weren't knocked down at all. In fact I think my confidence somehow went up. I had two more tries, and an infinite amount else where I would tell myself. Currently, I am sitting on my sisters bed about to go for a run to blow off steam. My circumstance has changed, I don't have two more tries… I have none. I am not currently seeking characters that fit my "mold" I am just trying to get by day by day. Regrets? It's still not something I have. I was happy because it was something I loved- heck, it's still something I love. I gave it my all and pushed through the doubts and tried. That's all I could do, was try. 

I think it's a lot like dating, you find a cute guy… you hit it off. You go on a few dates and ultimately by the third it just isn't working between the two of you. There's nothing wrong with him, it just isn't a good fit. He belongs with someone who is not you and you can tell He isn't made for you either. That doesn't mean we won't ever date again or find the very one we're meant to be with. It just means at that period of time, it was what you needed… but not what you need now or forever. 

If there is one thing I have learned, school success does not define you. Your major does not define you. What four people out of all the people in the world think of you does not define you. You define yourself by your will to keep going, your optimism, and your passions. 

For me, it's not so much closing the book as it is a whole new chapter. It's time to be thankful for what I had on this ride that was my past three years of college learning Meisner, Theatre History, and Stanislavski. I saw more in myself then I knew I had. It's time to say goodbye and turn the page… to a whole new chapter of life that will be even greater than before. Life is a real marvelous thing, all these events creating who you are today. I can't wait to see who I shall be a year from now.

October 10, 2014

Life Update

Rather she will admit or not, I am pretty sure my sister played hookie from school yesterday… but spending time with her at dinner was a nice change. 
  • Homemade Mochas are God's gift to the world. Hallelujah. 
  • I am utterly confused there are too many options for moving: As you may know originally I was supposed to be moving to Florida with my best friend to fulfill my dream of trying to become a Disney Princess. Then when my best friend couldn't, I was supposed to stay in Jersey for a year then move to Florida. Then came the other options: move to Florida myself, try to be a live in nanny in NYC, or move to GA with my aunt. So many options, my head is practically spinning.
  • I won a contest (This never happens so it permitted the hours of happy dancing in my bedroom.) from tumblr. It was the second prize but it came with some bronzer, mascara, eyeshadow, BB Cream, etc. It was like heaven. 
  • Macaroons, Macaroons, Macaroons…. it's all I can think about.
  • I am a litttttleee shoe crazy lately and last night ordered four pairs of boots, including my first pair of Steve Madden's and I can't lie… I am going crazy with excitement. 
  • If you've been on bloglovin at least once this month then I am sure at least one blogger has been doing "Blogtober" a few days ago the prompt was a fall bucket list which ultimately got me thinking about my own and the kinds of things I accomplished this summer and the things I hope to accomplish this fall. 
  • This Summer I: 
    • Since I was young girl spending my summers in jersey (I lived in Virginia in the school year) I had dreamed of friends visiting me as we tagged along to the beach or we spent a night at the Ocean City Boardwalk and well it took a good 15+ years but I got my wish this summer. Five different friends all visited me over the course of this summer and it was a huge blast. 
    • I saw Lady Antebellum live, on the beach, and with a great friend. It was a win, win of a day. 
    • It took twenty one years but I also finally had a first real date and it was cute. Feels like a dream considering the next thing I knew I was yet again stuck in Virginia… but it was cute.
    • Visited my favorite place in the whole wide world, New York City. While there I saw Heathers The Musical (What's your damage, Heather?), enjoyed the best sangria, and fell in love all over again with macaroons (which clearly has stuck.) 
    • Discovered my crazy obsession and pure love for fish tacos. 
    • Discovered the most magical place to journal. ponder life, or eat macaroons (told you I was obsessed) in NYC… this beautiful hidden waterfall. What. A. Gem. 
    • Broke my rainbow flipflop, and people think beach taggers are just heartless cruel people. Nope we evidently also walk so much we literally rip our shoe apart. 
  • This Fall I Hope To:
    • Finally carve a pumpkin, in all my twenty one years of being alive I never have and it pains me.
    • Go apple picking. It looks marvelous, magical… and the need for fresh apples is haunting me.
    • Visit a friend this fall at their college. A good friend from beach tagging is a mere three hours away and I haven't visited in the two years she has gone to JMU… it's time to change that.
    • GET BANGS. I say this every fall/winter. It won't happen, but I will keep dreaming.
    • Learn a new recipe. 
    • Drink apple cider.

Raise your glass to finding more adventures...

October 1, 2014

Currently: October

*This is a wonderful link up with Jenna and Anne.
I'm so glad I live in a world where there are octobers

SMELLING | Well ironically, I just had a blonde moment and burned some mozzarella sticks… so I've been smelling that for hours. I finally got a vanilla candle going though! And as always I keep smelling my Victoria Secret Very Sexy.

LOVING | Having some of my favorite shows back: New Girl, The Mindy Project, Scandal, Revenge….. I have missed you so.

PLANNING |The big move to GA. I admit I am already wishful thinking towards next summer in Jersey. Life plans are being put in motion as well. 

BAKING | Brownies, an oldie but a goodie! 

CELEBRATING | October… the welcome back to: boots, brisk weather, sweaters, light jackets, and the return of my tights collection. It really is the simple joys in life… am I right!? I am also celebrating summer 2014, with October here and the first day of fall a while ago…. I really do need to let go.

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